Tuesday, August 31, 2010

To bend or not to bend. That is the question.

When I used to think of having a baby, I'd always leap to the actual birthing process and shudder. I used to think that I'd never have the cajones to push a human being through my loins. That all started to change around the time that I couldn't see my toes anymore. Here is a list of things that I can no longer do without assistance:

-Put lotion on my legs below the knee
-Put on underwear (caveat: I actually can put on underwear, it's just not guaranteed to be on the right way unless Mr. Val helps. Just last week I realized about 3/4 through the day on Thursday that I'd been wearing my underpants inside out all day.)
-Buckle/Tie shoes
-Paint my toenails

I also am finding shaving incredibly difficult but my foolish pride is standing in the way of asking for assistance. I'd like for there to be SOME mystery left between my husband and I, even if it has led to some patchy shave jobs as of late.

The other big issue at this stage is bending over, which for a klutz like me, has led to a few existential crises as of late. Case in point:

The Vending Machine Incident:

One of the more recent food items I've gotten addicted to is Raisinets. I've always liked them, but I stone cold LOVE them now. It's great because the raisins counteract the chocolate and the vending machine at work stocks them and lets face it, Raisinets are like the last thing to sell out of a vending machine. I'm the only one who buys them willingly, the only other time they get picked is when the machine is all out of other candy.

But I digress.

Anyway, today I was waddling down the hall to get my Raisinet fix when the unthinkable happened. I dropped my damn quarter and it rolled partially under a cabinet. I stood in the hall for a minute weighing my options. I could:

a.)Bend down and get it and pray to the baby Jesus that I don't fall over/split my pants/pass out from sheer exhaustion
b.)Waddle back down to my desk and get the dollar that is hanging out in my purse for emergencies such as this
c.)Forget about it completely, you don't need Raisinets anyway
d.)Stand there until someone passes, at which point rub my belly and look sad and hope they offer to pick up my quarter

I actually thought long and hard about option d., but I'm not the world's most patient person. I was about to go for b., when the voices in my head started trying to convince me that bending over isn't really that bad and I should just get my lazy pregnant ass down there and pick up my quarter. So, I went with a., which involved me bending at the knees as low as possible and running my fingers under the cabinet until I felt the sweet, chocolate producing metal rim of my quarter. Right as I was about to grab it, the worst possible thing that could have happened, did.

A throng of co-workers round the corner just in time to see me writing around on the floor, my pregnant ass huffing and puffing for a stupid quarter. This being a particularly chivalrous group of young men, they approached and asked if they could help me up, did I fall, yada yada yada, to which I mumbled that I had just dropped my quarter and I was OK and thanks and have a nice day. It would be fine if this were the end of the story, but nooooooo. Apparently my karmic balance sucks b/c as I head to the vending machine I realize that they are headed that way too.

Did I mention it's 10:00 AM in the morning?

The first guy gets trail mix, quite possibly the only thing in the vending machine less popular that Raisinets. The second guy gets pop tarts, classic morning choice, and the third guy gets some cookies. I'm feeling better because lets be honest, Raisinets are way better than Pop Tarts or Cookies, so I put in my money and make my selection, arriving at that blissful moment when you get exactly what you want out of life. I started to waddle back to my desk when I hear, "Rasinets huh? My mom loves Raisinets."


There are only so many indignities a gal can take, before she is capable of things never before possible. Which is why I am no longer terrified of childbirth. The prospect of a life without seeing my toes or shaving my entire calf without incident is much more terrifying than labor.

Until then I'll keep weighing my options when I drop stuff...anything over $5 I will probably huff and puff my way down to the floor for, under that all bets are off.

Those were some damn good Raisinets though.


Thursday, August 19, 2010

Are you there followers? It's me, Valentine.

I'm just going to skip the apologies for being a crappy blogger. We all know it, so let's just move on.

Mr. Val and I are finally settled into our new place, so now we can at long last put together the nursery for our sweet baby girl! I'm not a super traditional girl, so a pink nursery was never going to happen. Instead I'm going with a palette of aquas/reds/whites for a pretty vintage look without anything overtly girly. Below are the fabrics & paint that we are using:

The color in the middle is the paint that will be up on the walls. The other two squares are the fabrics we are using. Since I couldn't find any baby linens that appealed to me, I'm having them custom made with these. The aqua scroll will be used on the crib skirt and glider while the red stripe will be used on the crib bumper and accent piping. I'll likely round out the bedding with some solid white-ish sheets and a baby blanket knitted by my Grandma.

As usual, our amazing families have really come through for us and provided the following:

-Glider (is from my mother in law): it's a lovely white glider that just needed a new cushion and some paint touch ups. It will be a perfect place to rock my daughter to sleep.

-Crib & Mattress: my father & step-mother bought our crib & mattress. We decided to go with the Lauren Graco in white. Since there are going to be so many fabrics in this room, I really liked the clean lines of the Lauren. I actually looked at more expensive cribs from PBK & Land of Nod but always came back to this one.

We decided that we didn't want a changing table, since it's a temporary piece of furniture. We'll be doing a long dresser with a changing top instead. I really like this better because long after we are done changing diapers, we will still have use for the dresser. I'm very excited about the dresser actually. We found a beautiful 6-drawer dresser on Craigslist for a steal. Trouble is, it's yellow. It's actually no problem, as I've been wanting to try my hand at a furniture project for a while. Mr. Val and I are going to strip and sand it and paint it white. I'll do some mild distressing to vintage it up a bit and change out the hardware with some glass knobs I've been eyeing at Anthropologie. I'm pretty excited to do this and will definitely post pics & the outcome!

I'm left now with little details to figure out, curtains, rugs, etc. I have some ideas but will leave those a surprise for the big reveal! I will reveal one last detail, the baby blocks that were made for me by the AMAZING jCam. They tie in all the colors/themes I wanted in the room and they reveal our babies name, so without further ado:

So now you know. BabyValentine has a name, Sadie Joan and will henceforth be referred to as such. Well, that and Sadiebug. And Sadie Bear. And Evander Holyfield since she's doing her best impersonation of him in my womb at the moment.

Tell me your thoughts Internet friends, you like?